The Journey To Become An Effective Communicator and Leader
How many opportunities have you missed out of fear for speaking up?
Do you get the gut-wrenching feeling when going unmute during a Zoom meeting?
Speaking in public (or simply to a group of peers in a work meeting) is something I feared extensively. There have been many the opportunities that I agreed to things that I was afraid to speak otherwise on and many the times I let other peers take the lead in teams at work and school.
The truth is this is something many of us fear - I know that I am not alone on this.
We fear the unknown, We fear negative feedback
It is engrained in us to fear the unexpected reactions that may arise from others after we speak. It is a common fear to speak up because many of us fear judgement, fear being misunderstood, and fear not being able to accurately articulate our thoughts and ideas clearly.
As an engineer, I have been told that “Engineers are technical” and that they are “not social”. I do not necessarily have a timid or introvert personality, but I have certainly taken these phrases to heart and rarely challenged my speaking and leading abilities beyond what is necessary.
If work required me to present something I worked on - sure, I can do it. But I would never volunteer on opportunities that required to lead others or speak in public unless required to do so. Being an engineer I figured that working on my technical abilities was enough to become a well-rounded engineer and succeed in my career - which led me to neglect other aspects of my career such as soft skills.
Soft skills are the most essential skills for career success
Not too long ago I realized the value that developing soft skills can bring to anyone’s career. The ability to effectively communicate and lead others are just some of the skills highly in demand in any industry. This means that if you were to switch careers, soft skills are the most transferable skills to any industry you may want to pursue throughout your career.
Even if you choose to stay within the same industry, your soft skills will determine whether you get promoted to more senior or managerial positions in your organization.
But what are these soft skills? On a global scale, soft skills are the skills you put in practice when working with other people. Soft skills are generally broken into 5 main areas, all of which are skills that you put into practice when interacting with people:
Communication
Problem Solving
Time Management
Decision Making
Leadership
Being a systems-oriented person, engineer and a productivity enthusiast, I like to think that I have Problem Solving, Time Management and Decision Making skills under control. However, I rarely put effort into improving on my communication and leaderships skills.
In 1936, the one and only, Dave Carnegie, said “Dealing with People is probably the biggest problem you face”. This statement holds true for everyone; architects, engineers, stay at home parents, etc.
No matter the industry you are in.
No matter where on earth you are from.
No matter the language you speak.
How you communicate and lead have a direct influence on the type of relationships you have with coworkers, friends and families, partners, customers, and every other human you may have relationship with.
I focused too much on my Hard skills
Being an engineer, I have mostly focused on the technical aspects of my career (hard skills). For the past 7-8 years, I have been consuming any type of engineering content to be up to date with the latest technologies and innovations in the field of Structural Engineering.
I’d read on professional magazines, Concrete design textbooks, and any resource I’d receive via email subscription that would make a more knowledgeable Structural Engineer. In school, I’d nerd out of those equations and spend time reading to obtain a fundamental understanding of how research was performed to develop such equations.
Do not get me wrong - there is nothing wrong with dedicating significant time to your career and becoming well-versed in everything you learn. After all, I encourage everyone to learn things well, and not just “good-enough”.
However, this lead me to neglect other areas that would make me a well rounded professional and individual. I had a fixed mindset when it came to the way I communicate and lead peers at work or school and did not challenge myself to take on responsibilities that would help me sharpen these skills.
I feared talking over the phone with clients. “Could this be an email?”
I feared speaking up in meetings. “I can send a Zoom message”
I feared taking leading responsibilities in projects. “I will wait for my assignment”
I never realized how not actively putting these skills into practice actually affected the relationships I built beyond my industry or profession. However, I did know that I had a lot more potential than the one I been experiencing. I knew I had potential to better articulate my ideas, to contribute to meaningful conversations at work and be comfortable in speaking my mind.
I had to make changes
Year after year I would make zero progress in some of my soft skills I figured that if I wanted to succeed as an engineer and win at relationships, I needed to become an effective communicator and leader, and break the comfort zone barrier that kept me focused on the more technical aspects of my career - only.
This is when I challenged myself to take on a customer-facing position, where I would put communication into practice on a daily basis. After just over a year in this position, I am a lot more comfortable with speaking in public (or to a group of people in meetings). I enjoy speaking to customers over the phone, and do not get nervous when hitting the unmute button during Zoom meetings.
To challenge myself further, I started the The Neutral Axis blog and YouTube channel, and Finding the Neutral Axis Podcast with a friend and colleague. While these are three massive projects to take on at a time, I have seen massive improvements on my communication, leadership and interpersonal skills.
I also recently joined a local Toastmasters club, where in a matter of months, I have taken the charge of multiple weekly meeting roles that have allowed me to develop further the skills needed to be an effective communicator and leader. I am more comfortable with impromptu conversations, sharing my thoughts on any topic and be honest when I have nothing to contribute.
Working on my soft skills was something I neglected for years and now I feel I still have a lot to catch on.
What I’ve seen so far
After actively working on my soft skills through video content creation, a podcast and Toastmasters, I have become a lot more comfortable with expressing and sharing my ideas.
The more videos I record, the easier it becomes to be comfortable with making mistakes in the public eye.
The more podcast episodes I record, the easier it becomes to speak with my true voice and less afraid of being misunderstood.
And the more Toastmasters meeting I attend, the easier it gets to talk to peers and taking leadership responsibilities in each meeting.
Because of the progress I have seen in my journey, I am here writing to strongly encourage you to actively improve on your soft skills. Practice self-awareness and pinpoint which areas of the skills you put in practice when interacting with people you would like to improve on.
Do you get nervous when speaking up?
Do you prefer others to take the lead?
Would you rather send a Zoom message instead of knocking your boss’ door?
Take small steps at a time in every opportunity that arises.
How to get started
To get started, here are three actions you can take today in building up on your communication and leadership skills:
Speak up and volunteer on opportunities that require you to lead or work with others.
Join a local Toastmasters club to improve on your communication and effective leadership skills.
Record yourself on your phone speaking on random topics that come to your mind (no need to publish on social media platforms!).
I guarantee that the three action steps above will get you off the races and push you closer to build wonderful relationships with people at work, at home and the rest of the world.
